Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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