Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
