Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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