I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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