This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
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kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
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You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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