Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
