plz talk dirty to me
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Where did you get a picture of my penis
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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