She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
