He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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