Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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