i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
