You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize