i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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