I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
