she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
