He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize