Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
