i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
