is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
