I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
