yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
