atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
