Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
