dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm always down for nudity.
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