I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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