He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
that's an acceptable place to lick
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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