ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize