just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
