dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
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i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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