if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
