Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
