and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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