You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
