But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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