My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
