he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
