I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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