He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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