Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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