Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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