Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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