WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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