We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
