the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
