we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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