real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize