You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize