this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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