dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
