I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
