But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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