Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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