i barfeds in our rink
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
