we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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