He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
