Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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