I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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