If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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