please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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