at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
