you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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