They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
