I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
